酒鬼戒酒承諾書
親愛的老婆大人：
你批評我的對，昨晚我蹲在衛生間，趴在馬桶上，進行了整整一個晚上的反思。當然，期間一直在不停嘔吐。7月份，我坐場喝酒38次，平均一天1.27次，場數頻繁，串場喝酒呈上升趨勢，與6月份相比次數明顯增多。其中，大醉10場，中醉10場，微醉10場，8場木醉，醉酒率與6月份相比明顯提升。當然，8場木醉得益於你中場攪局，錯了，不叫攪局，算是挽救。大醉後，我在酒店當眾脫衣鬧笑話多次，在文化宮燒烤攤同朋友鬧事多回，將家中貴重電器及手機摔壞多件，造成了諸多不良影響，甚至驚動了110，差點將我關進黑屋子。對此，我深感自責，坐臥不安。儘管我多次立志改過，但屢屢重犯，屢喝屢醉，屢醉屢喝，從今天開始再不喝酒了！！所以今後我保證不再喝酒，但畢竟，我們還有許多朋友，還得處理好多關係，所以下情況得例外:
一，有朋友從外地遠方歸來，這是接風洗塵，得喝！
二，有朋友要外出創業遠行，這是敬酒餞行，得喝！
三，有老朋友相邀坐場小聚，這是敘敍舊情，得喝！
四，有新朋友偶然相識相逢，這是有緣相識，得喝
五，有親朋好友家中過喜事，這是高興好事，得喝！
六，自己遇到不開心的雜事，這是借酒澆愁，得喝！
七，有人請客吃飯竭力相邀，這必須給面子，得喝！
八，咱要是有事需請人喝酒，這必須要陪好，得喝！
九，前天喝醉難受得要死了，得喝點通透酒，得喝！
我保證：除以上九條外，今後再也不喝酒了！！！
Offending anastomosed indices, bedside cholangiocarcinoma thence bedtime.
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